“Your intent in crying a lot at any one crying episode was to rip off the band-aid instead of slowly pulling it off, but seems like what you accomplished is to re-experience the suppressed pain, exhaust yourself (experiencing a temporary relief at best), but release/ resolve very little of the suppressed pain, if any.”

Yes! this is what is happening re-experiencing not resolution. I don’t know what else to do (Which makes me feel bad saying that seeing as im a therapist). I guess the emotion isn’t actually getting resolved. When i said i listen to what it is telling me i meant using my emotion as a guide. So sadness is telling me something i need in this case connection. But then i dont get connection because of the way i am and now i feel like im stuck in a loop…