@Sammy1

Thank you very much for your opinion.

On the contrary, I am searching for answers now exactly because so much time has passed and I can be more objective. You know, like when you look back and hope that now you would be able to see things for what they really were?

I understand that you think that @Dannydan’s situation with his B is not the same as mine.

However, to me, it seemed that the beginning of it (especially the portion in italics in my previous post) was very much akin to what, as I perceived it, had happened between my B and me.

So I jumped at the opportunity to ask the male involved what his thought and feeling process was.

It may or may not end for me the same way it ended for @Dannydan.

I am NOT holding out any hope, especially less so after our meeting in person two weeks ago.

My ‘B’ is not controlling any thoughts of mine. I don’t wake up thinking about him, go about my day with him at the back of my mind and I don’t fall asleep dreaming about him either.

I am not spiralling, I haven’t lost sleep, I don’t feel the necessity to turn to antidepressants as I did after my breakup with ‘A’.

I agree that I chose to overlook certain red flags.

I’ll do my best not to repeat a similar situation in the future.

I am not sure I am feeling angry at him. Maybe I should.

I can’t say that what I am feeling is sympathy either. I think that what I am trying to do is to put myself in his shoes and find out where he was coming from. As a surgeon performing a dissection. Everyone acts based on what he or she deems best under the current circumstances. I suppose this is my exercise in Buddhist compassion, LOL!

I have also found in the past that it is of help to me to repeat certain things several times – you know, like one would chew on a chewing gum until it loses all flavour and then spits it out. I really feel that this is the last time I need to turn back to this story. The case is now closed.

Thank you and @Dannydan for not disappearing on me. I have read plenty of threads where people would be going back and forth and then suddenly stop answering or deactivating their accounts. Without warning or thank yous.