Wow, getting deeper and deeper I see. This is like metaphor kung fu. I don’t follow all the concepts presented, but I can speak from personal experience that while our childhood shapes us more than we could ever realize, I’ve truly forgiven everyone involved to the best of my abilities. I cannot forgive anymore than I’ve already let go. Some of the people were “cut loose” and some were forgiven, but I’ve let go. And not just from childhood, but from the more recent past. I’ve let go of everything and everyone. I am looking inside right now and discovering my self. My enlightenment-ish moment came when I was feeling completely empty. I let go of everything and I found what I was searching for for a long time. The problem that remains is the current topic, how to find the strength for my current situation in life? As someone mentioned above, my parents will help me when I need help, but it’s more of a rescue than an actual help. I have no one to turn to. I have bo guide in life, no wise old sage who can use some ancient wisdom to help me guide myself. I am totally lost and doing the best I can, but because I am so lost, it’s very tough for me right now. All my friends are enjoying their lives with their wives and children, spending time in the backyards and traveling the world, and I’ve lost everything. I have my dog left so not everything. But I lost my health, most of my savings, my home, my wife, my job, had cancer, had to file for Bankruptcy, and many other things went wrong. Yet, I am still here and not giving up. But life is supposed to be about ups and downs, or as Russians say, life is like a Zebra, a black line, a white line, but my downs have laster for too long. I am afraid I’ll break one of these days.