Hi Anita! You are right. Recently, I gave up on this. His addictions- it just doesn’t stop. Once it is drinking, it is smoking, it is porn, it is masturbation. Anything, absolutely anything that he can put his mind off things, our things. He is a good person but there are issues. There were never issues between us- we understood one another well but these addictions were always the bone of contention. They used to leave our lives and few days we would be happy, no worries at all, and then my sister would reappear or these addictions would. I often told him, the connection between us is very good but it makes me sad that each time there comes even a slight bit of romance there, something or the other happens.

Anyways, 2.5 years is a long time in my eyes and it is enough. I always felt that addictions are things that could be fixed but later I understood that because they gave him comfort, maybe he did not want to leave them. And saying this that I should marry by my parents’ choice was the last straw. I could not believe he was the same person that I was talking to even a month back. He had come to visit me on his family’s persuasion as they want things to be good between us as he denies going out with other women.

That one week he stayed, the moment he met me- apart from an anxiety attack that he felt he did wrong by coming because my sister will never let us be and he did not want to hurt me more. It vanished however when we spent time. We were so happy. We decided to be together and fix things in our own lives so that when my sister is married, we can talk about marriage to our parents.

Things changed in a week after he left, he left my city and met his childhood friends and god knows what went on in his head. He was like this isn’t right and started the same cycle again. But I was tired now.

I told him then itself, its time we split. I cannot take this stress anymore. I can’t convince someone that they love me especially when they just say but don’t reflect in their actions.

moving ahead. Please be with me. I feel really alone these days.