Dear IpkRO9:

It is just as clear to me now as it was before, that you need to live far away from your sister, and far away from the people who support your sister (your parents and whomever else). If you have to attend her wedding, attend it, but don’t give her access to abuse you. (I imagine she will not hit you during her wedding or during her wedding night..?!)

Regarding the only thing you feel is wrong with you, “a very strong fear of being left alone”, loneliness haunting you on weekends-

– when you are alone, listen to the noises around you. If you don’t hear “loud arguments and physical fights which often happen(ed) at home”- that’s a good thing, isn’t it, you don’t miss or long for that kind of togetherness, do you?

When you experienced those arguments and fights, you “just wanted to left alone”- alone is a good thing when the alternative is aggression.

When alone, try to appreciate being alone, relax into the relative quietness, into the peace of being safe from aggression and blame. Relax best you can.

When you meet a new man next, don’t commit to him too soon, and then stay with him no matter what, and no matter who he is. Choose a man thoughtfully: evaluate his words and behaviors over time and choose again and again, whether you want to stay with him, or not. Choose a man with whom togetherness is a good thing, quiet, peaceful, safe.

anita

• This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by .