Bloody hell @Jay2023 what kind of work do you do that requires a 6 am rise? I roll out at 8 am and my first zoom call is me in half my pjs.

I’m so glad to learn you had a better weekend than anticipated, see no expectations lead to surprises! Well done you for enjoying your day! It’s never too late!

It seems you both used each other to a degree, you certainly got an ego boost out of it and confidence. Obviously, you’d been single so to experience physical intimacy again must have been great. It must make you realise though it is a factor that leads to attachment. It’s very similar for me, I’m very monogamous. All in or not. Maybe in the future ensure the intentions and wants are aligned before doing the deed. Women are not the only ones who get stung with thinking sex equates to love! You live and you learn.

I think it is very sweet you would want her to know she was the catalyst for your growth. Maybe you needed to be put in that place to learn. I hope you can be in a better place one day and be reacquainted at least. She can’t have been all bad if she made you feel that good. Sometimes recognising painting the person as the bad cop or villain in the chapter is not necessary for healing but just understanding the incompatibility takes greater courage to admit and greater growth. At first, it was so much easier to feel aggrieved and I was determined to lay all the blame at the doorstep of my ex but it takes two and I saw things from his perspective when we had a final heart to heart which made me understand the reasons we didn’t fit.

My weekend is a write off just suffered my 4th bleed today so my head about to explode! We can plan but our steps are already determined………