Dear lpkR09,

your late grandmother seems like a loving, caring person. She did a fine job taking care of you, and it could be that because of that, you have a certain strength and resilience in you, that you otherwise wouldn’t have.

My mum used to sneak from the house and travel between districts to reach me on my birthdays. I knew her as an aunt, not my mum. I used to call my Grandma my ‘mum’ then.

That’s interesting. It must have been hard when you were separated from your granny and taken to your parents. How did you react to that (specially when they told you that your granny isn’t your mother, but that the “aunt” actually is your mother)? How well did you accept your mother (and how well did she accept you)? And how was the adaptation to your new life circumstances? I guess your sister wasn’t too happy to have you there…

I believe it was a huge change for you and possibly a traumatic one, and it left consequences, for sure.

I didn’t know that I was left at my granny’s till I was much much older. But when I did find out, it explained a lot of things. My mother used to tell a story that when she came to visit me during that period, I leaned towards my granny, a little apprehensive, and asked “Granny, who’s this lady?” I didn’t even recognize my mother… And you’re right, these experiences did hurt me, but also forced me to work on myself and heal. And I am happy if I can help people who went through something similar…