No problem @Jay2023, I didn’t want to leave you hanging for a reply when you need it.

Don’t be too harsh on yourself, your human and we are designed to make mistakes. You can share those calls, banter and messages with other people in your life. There is a fine line between romantic relationships and all others and that’s sex. So just a small shift in focus will aid in enjoying others company and ranting about your day etc.

As you know I’m not an advocate for doing things because a rule book states this is the way to recover. If it’s so draining for you to avoid it like I said don’t force it but don’t seek it either.

I think you have some very deep reflection to do. Like do you want to move on or secretly are you harbouring an idea of reuniting? If you want to move on then you need to recognise you have an addiction and highs from the drama i.e. New pic or latest update is keeping you hooked on the release of all those chemical reactions in your brain. Youll need amazing friends and support structure. I needed that during my alcohol addiction. It makes all the difference so surround yourself with people who want you to win.

Then really ask yourself what am I missing that I keep going back to want someone’s second best.  Is it self esteem? Is it something else?

Think it was Einstein who said the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting a different result. You need to tackle the unconscious habits and behaviours that are repeatedly preventing you from moving on. Bit by bit destroy the patterns.

One day if this connection was as real as you deemed, if she was really a good person but wrong fit for you then you can offer each other the opportunity to reconnect and you will cherish it as much, I have done with my ex and let me tell you it feels peaceful. But right now you need to disconnect.

I never thought the man I loved for 5 years and desperately prayed for I’d be happy to be friends whilst I enjoy a wonderful new beginning and relationship. Things changes because feelings pass. You’ll get there, I promise.

You just need to commit to letting go of the baggage of crap, the things not good for you. Then you can start afresh. X