@Sammy thank you for the sage advice mate. You’re right I’m being selfish. I didn’t think about her thought process and why’s. It makes sense and thank you for that insight. I’ve had a totally different upbringing to hers and at age 16/18 were left to fend for ourselves. She is very independent but has that family centred core. It was what made me fall for her because she is very inclusive, supporting,  giving and selfless and that comes from her upbringing. Really appreciate the reminder mate so thanks!

@Jay2023 you sound very overwhelmed! @Sammy I think (correct me if I’m wrong Jay) he meant he can’t move on until all hope is gone i.e. the ex has found her one or someone better than him.

That is crazy Jay, you can’t put your life on hold for someone who doesn’t even care. Who disrespected you like that during. That’s suspending yourself hoping to be moved by some miracle that she will want you one day. Dude where’s your self worth and respect? Go find your damn happiness , yes care about her if you wish that’s a sign of a good hearted  person but never ever stop living or joving. Ahhh man!!!c’mon who has hurt you so much to make you think that’s all your worth?

I still confused by what you mean establish light contact with someone – do you mean her or someone else?