Dear anita,

hopefully, I did not pass on the pain to others. However, I am not a saint. In my childhood, I would often fight with my sister and I also hit her. Also, I was disrespectful to my parents. I probably said hurtful things to them, because I wanted to not be weak. Often I worry that I might have hurt my ex in some way or another. But in his case, I have never had any intention to hurt him at all! While in my childhood? Did I want to hurt my family?? I think I wanted to be strong myself and I thought for a while that being strong meant being loud and saying cuss words. I hadn’t understood back then that you can be strong and quiet and sensitive at the same time! I tried for a very long time to be something I am not. It took me so long to completely understand!

It is however not my intention to hurt others. It is not who I want to be. I do not want to mistreat anyone! Sometimes I will say something stupid and also I can have angry feelings towards a person. But I would like to be a person who is kind to others.

Thank you for your kind words! It motivates me to try to be friendly to people. No matter what happens, I don’t want my heart to become bitter and give up. And I don’t want to pass on the pain to others.

Today I was feeling a bit tired again, as I hadn’t slept that well. The good thing today was that I tried a new recipe which was delicious! It was millet with tomato and fried vegetables. Recently, I tried out some other grains, instead of eating rice all the time. Then I also wrote down the recipe in my recipe collection along with some other recipes. Let’s be honest: this was a form of procrastination from starting a new illustration… It is always harder to start again. But after looking at the pages I already finished I feel more motivated again. I think I will make a small sketch now. Today I also read and I drew just for fun.

Tomorrow is a workday, so there will be less time for other things. But I still would like to find some time to draw.

Take care!