Boys will be boys 🤦🏼‍♀️ @Dannydan don’t you be giving @Jay2023 any more bright ideas! GOODBYE SEX oh dear! Lol

Check you out with your amazing insight for me. I agree with @Jay2023 you do have a heart, a much bigger one than you give yourself credit for at times. Thanks so much for that, going against his wishes was what I was worried about and you’re spot on, continuous dialogue is paramount! So I will check if his feelings have changed about the matter or if he still definitely doesn’t want anything and then respect that.

I don’t think he is a game player in any way so i know he wouldn’t be testing me. His reasoning was pretty straightforward after the pandemic and what he has seen, he felt he had everything he needed already and was grateful to make it out unscathed. His work life balance is very difficult because of his job, sometimes he is on nights or on call , so I think you’re right quality time will be more special to him.

The thing I value the most about him is that he expresses and communicates his feelings. You and Rhaenys correctly picked up and mentioned him feeling excluded. Rather than just ignore my texts like the ex would have when it came to confronting or dealing with difficult emotions…  He was responsive and shared his thoughts upfront so we came up with the bbq we had. In fact he is very very giving that’s why I wanted to spoil him. He deserves the best but I want to give him what HE will be happy with. So I might just incorporate @Jay2023 and your idea with messages in a bottle stating things i value about him with clues leading onto some sort of naughty trail. Thanks boys!

@Jay2023, wow this new found attitude I’m loving, she’s not your problem anymore for sure! You don’t need to concern yourself with figuring out what went wrong because you know it was definitely not right!

There’s definitely been a huge shift in your attitude this past week. You’re working really hard on big changes, and letting go of bad habits like drinking. What’s been your driving force? You’ve really caught the bug to change. I have a feeling you have enough strength to really put this chapter behind you. By the time free therapy rolls around who knows – you might not even need it!

Sorry to hear about your friends difficulties. If you need any tips on alcohol addiction let me know. It is hard because you naturally love your friends, they have always been that constant. However your inner circle can tell a lot about yourself and affect your life outcomes too. So it’s very important you have positive energy and force around you, you will make better choices and vice versa. Sometimes when you begin to change for the better it does mean creating boundaries from those no longer good for us or likely to draw us back to bad habits. It’s all part of the process. It doesn’t mean you do what I stupidly did and cut them all off entirely. That’s just the coward’s way of dealing with stuff. You communicate you need time to heal, you then create a different space for them in your life but be firm in your boundaries and express in a kind way why things have changed. A good friend no matter how much time you’ve been away will still accept you and be happy with change, they meet you halfway. A bad friend will just ignore your feelings, not really care and do what they know.