@Jay2023
I think you would have learned nothing if you did go back again to what you had. It was not healthy. At least not the parts described to us.

For this to ever work you both would need to do a lot of work individually and then reconcile to begin with a completely clean slate. Do you honestly think she wants that? I don’t.

I think if she was going to message after your earlier interaction today then by now she would have. It was a perfect window.

In the future, if she genuinely cared about you too, when enough time has passed and she knows you’re likely to have healed she may try and establish a friendship. However because you mentioned she used you as an emotional crutch, it will be obvious if there is a hidden agenda.

I reached out to my ex, at first as the dumpee. I needed an explanation or closure, then he realised he wanted me. I didn’t anymore. When he finally got in touch again after i had changed numbers i could tell he wasn’t looking to interfere or reconcile, he was making peace so I was happy to be reacquainted because he was an important part of my life and I’d hate to just discard each other forever reducing what we had to nothing.

I care about my ex, but I’m no longer in love with him. In the past what have you done with your exes? What are you likely to do if contacted – blank or reply?

I personally can’t be rude to anyone. I would never ghost, air or ignore messages. I just think imagine the shoe was on the other foot. It never hurts to be polite. I’m all about positive energy and firm believer in what goes around comes around. It pays to never burn bridges.

If you really value her as a person and do really miss her and not the idea of her, then you’ll overcome your feelings for her and just want her to be happy. It might take time but it will definitely happen. So maybe think about that.

Also you mentioned to @Rhaenys you’re awake with knots, there’s something else probably troubling you there. Time to try labelling and finding the origin of that! Also hints of depression in your patterns too but j know you’re doing what you can.

But yes tomorrow is a new day and I hope you feel rejuvenated with your haircut!