Oh Danny , Danny, Danny !

First of all like @Jay2023 said we completely sympathise and please try not to worry. Easier said than done, I know.

Remember we all mess up, don’t be so hard on yourself but once you’re in a better headspace recognise the consequences of your actions and learn from it so in future in the same situation you react more level headedly. And so you can learn how to make (dreaded word) amends properly after conflict!

This is not to make you feel bad in any way, but to give you a woman’s perspective. We are emotional beings and although ‘B’ has strong emotional intelligence she is still human. She will be weak at times too and that’s okay, its where you need to learn to step up and balance things out and be strong for her.

Now we have a fuller picture, you’ve made some rookie mistakes.

1. Why didn’t you message to make sure she got home safe that evening? She was obviously feeling vulnerable after the argument that’s why she retreated and then on top it would have felt like you didn’t care, even though I know you do a lot.

2. Then the next morning to brush it over with what sounds like morning wood talk 🤦🏼‍♀️ was not going to go down well was it? What were you thinking lol?

3. I completely understand your feelings around your ex bestie. That is your own perogative and your right to proceed as you wish. However given the context it is obvious she was not being pushy but just trying to help. Instead you reacted on your own set of emotions and unfortunately they overspilled into your relationship. In future try not to project your insecurities. Her advising you to be polite doesn’t mean she thinks you’re impolite, inferior etc. She was just guiding you in dealing with it in a mature manner. Likewise her suggesting you try to to bury the hatchet wasn’t trying to dismiss or minimise the pain you endured. This woman loves you madly, you’re honestly so lucky mate that she cares this much and didn’t want you to carry the pain of your past forever and wants you to heal for YOUR happiness.

I can not say for certainty because I’m not her, and you will have to wait until you both can talk it out. But I suspect it wasn’t just the words that cut deep or caused a trigger.

You see as men you are oblivious to the smallest things we women pick up and overlook because we love you. When something like this inevitably happens it means you’ve done enough to then push yourself into a red zone. Her needing this much space given she normally likes to resolve matters quickly and laugh it off, unfortunately does mean something deeper is troubling her. It could just be because it’s the first time you both have butted heads in a major way or the unexpected timing of it with the wedding approaching has made it feel all too raw but is there anything you’re aware of that might be affecting her other than your outburst or the stress of the wedding?

You two are a team, you will as @Jay2023 said get through this bump and it will be water under the bridge. You have taken the correct step to reach out, have said sorry and showed you do care BUT you need to for your own good give her the space to resolve whatever is happening to her internally first. You push her now, you’ll push her away further.

Let her come to you in her own time, it will be hard to wait,  but she will respond, she is wise and mature. Then listen and hear each other out. This is advice for any conflict resolution in any relationship. Be calm, and allow space if needed to confront it head on in a mature way.

Write down how you felt about your ex bestie, write down how this space or way with dealing with things made you feel and express it calmy because you too deserve to feel heard. Don’t let the ego play the blame game though.

And finally Danny hold her tight like you said you wanted, she will appreciate that and will be needing that if she is this upset right now. Us ladies put on a strong front but sometimes we too just want to be held.

You will get through this as long as you learn the lessons. But don’t repeat it again! It’s fine to have a disagreement but we have to still be aware of the consequences of our words and actions to prevent hurting others.

I’m so sorry this weekend i will be unable to be available to soothe your nerves. I hope @Jay2023 or @Rhaenys can help if needed. I’ll try and check on you tomorrow. It will be okay just sit tight. Good things come to those who wait x