@Dannydan , about your insecurity if you “are good enough” for B, she already choose you. I think when you two started for the second time, that shows how much she is into you. I think if you care about her, if you listen her needs as I mentioned, you don’t have to be afraid. And I see you care a lot. If you still are, however, insecure, maybe therapy would help you.

I also agree with Sammy suggestion about doing acts of service for B, I was actually trying to say you the same thing, but with different words.

About the remarks… I’m not sure. As it seems to me we don’t know the whole story (what were those remarks, what culture it is, what did B told you) it’s hard to say. I don’t want to suggest you to tell us, not at all, but it’s hard to say for me. Sammy has good instincts, maybe you should listen her, sincerety between partners doesn’t sound as a bad choice.

@Jay2023, I personally think some mood swings are not unusual after a breakup. I remember after my breakup, I had those a lot, worse and better days. And I thought I should heal fast, not think about him.. Giving yourself time to heal, as much as you need, is also a way of showing care for yourself. I actually remember reading an article on this page about that, actually many articles mention that. I still have some better and worse days, and that’s okay. I even see my friends have those, after breakup it can be only worse. It will get better. I agree therapy should help, I think that’s never a bad choice. It could all pass much sooner with therapy and that would make it easier for you.

I read a lot of articles on this page about break up, moood swings, about how to see what we feel about judging it, mindfulness… It could help. Maybe I already mentioned, Ask Polly colums also helped a lot (maybe they are written more for woman, though, but I think they can work for both man and women, and there are also question from men).

@Sammy thank you for advice. I’m actually aware what happened does not affect my self worth, and I’m not that sad or depressed. It was kind of stresful few days, but now it’s passed, and I’m glad the situation is over, and chatting also.

I’m in a weird part of my life, it seems to me like all the masks are falling down… I also had some disappointments with some of my friends last few months, and this week again too. It like I’m finally seeing and understanding everything. I started being aware that some of my friends don’t really understand or even try to understand me, and are being  selfish (always talking about their problems only, but then ignoring when I want to talk about mine, asking me to let them know early about our arrangements, but then canceling or changing them later, multiple times and similar stuff). It’s like I’m in this phase in my life when it’s teaching me not to be dependable on anyone, except myself, and how to be okay by myself and how to put boundaries in all my relationships. I guess it’s interesting but also very stresfull and demanding. I’m realizing it’s sometimes better to stay home and be with myself, then adapting to all their arragment changes and demads to do things only they want. It really does seems all masks are falling… And I actually understand them and why they do that, I understand they have their own problems why they act the way the do, it’s really weird feeling. I guess this is the part when I realize who is a friend and who is not, and what to except of whom, like I’m having a lesson in (both love, friendship and family) relationships. And I do have a feeling (most of the time) that all this storm will pass, and everything will fall into place.

It’s weird because after my last break up, and because one friend was mad about me as she felt I “ignored” her during my relationship, I had felt remorses about that. But now I’m realizing, I did not do nothing wrong, actually I see all the people doing the same, relying on their partners the most, if they do want a serious relationship. And after my breakup, I was kind of in a mood, I don’t want to find anyone outside my town, as I have “friends” and family here, and wouldn’t lose them… So I guess that now, life has showed me not to exclude anything, to have an open mind and when the time is right and the lesson is learned, this situation (bot with friends and romantic relationship) with resolve itself.

I think you were completley right @Sammy, when you said it will happen naturally when me and @Jay2023 are ready.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by Rhaenys.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by Rhaenys.