Dear Anita,

I am not sure lk09 engages in histrionic behavior, only because she had a couple of episodes where she felt so harassed and bullied by her sister and parents, that she reacted in desperation and made those self-harming gestures. She described those two incidents in her letter to her boyfriend, and the way I see it, it was an act of desperation, when she felt bullied and not understood, like an animal pushed into a corner.

This is what preceded those episodes:

No matter what I do is never good enough and then listening complaints and how bad I am and how i shall never have anyone in my life and how I shall always be alone in my life, How acc. to my own blood, I am planning day and night another dramatic stint to disturb other people’s lives and how I enjoy the mental trauma others go through by fighting.

A few days back, I was constantly being shouted on, non stop complaints- about how I am perfectly useless and how I cannot do anything. It caught on to me and that is the last I remember. I remember the actions of my body but I don’t remember what was going in my mind and what I was thinking regarding the action.

Then one day again same thing happened. Sister started it, then mum took over…this time I was crying and on the floor begging them to shut up, I remember hearing maa say “You don’t even die, just bring disgrace to us” she said it in anger to make me stop but I ran towards the terrace, Aum caught me in the way and pushed me so that i stop. I sat there and cried and asked them all to go and leave me alone. But nobody left, they kept saying things, I started hitting the back of my head on the wooden swing in my drawing room.

She was shouted on, told that she was useless, that she was a disgrace, and that she’ll always stay alone. And that she’s “planning day and night another dramatic stint to disturb other people’s lives and how I enjoy the mental trauma others go through by fighting.” This is what her narcissistic sister accused her of, and narcissistic people are masters in accusing people and pretending they’re the victims while they are in fact the abusers.

You say:

It is interesting that your sister, although unlike you, she was not given away- she too felt alone and suffered from lack of attention (this is why she tried to be the center of attention).

Her sister was/is narcissistic and didn’t tolerate anyone else to be the center of attention. She needed to be the center of attention at all times. She was bullying and demanding, but her parents allowed it, because she had protection of the grandfather, who was Alpha and Omega in the family. So I don’t think her sister felt alone and suffered from lack of attention – rather, she was spoiled and as soon as the attention was not on her, she would act up.

I believe that in those two incidents, lk09 reacted in desperation, and that she didn’t seek attention by creating drama – it was what her sister unjustly accused her of.