Anita,

the past couple post’s you’ve made have been extremely helpful. I have been trying to remember this line you wrote “Much of the pain you experience is about wrongly believing that you were (and still are) not good enough.”

You are absolutely correct that belief is where most of the hardships I cause myself comes from. I’ve had a good past 2 weeks since trying to live in the belief that I am lovable. I’ve also been riding my bike more regularly, and talking to new people and old friends instead of avoiding them. I’m also re-learning how to be sad and lonely without judging myself. It has all been helpful.

While I feel pretty good, and have been social, eating right, sleeping, and meditating more regularly…I still feel like I may never feel as good alone as I do when I’m in love. I know whether or not I have a partner is not entirely in my control, but I want to cultivate that feeling of love even if I’m alone. I love how doing everyday tasks seem meaningful, or how I feel more creative, and connected to the world.

My therapist years ago said something  along the lines of “the love is already present within us, when we’re partnered with someone who cares about us it awakens it in us” I would like to know if/how you’re able to awaken love within yourself even when isolated?