Dear Javier,

it appears the therapist wasn’t really equipped to help you, and didn’t recognize that you need calming of the nervous system, not just talking about the past trauma, which was re-traumatizing for you.

I wake up every morning depressed and “out of my mind”. I can’t take it anymore. Will the pain ever go away? or will it get worse?

When we’re stuck in trauma, we’re stuck in time, in that old painful reality. This is now exacerbated by you experiencing physical symptoms and living in the same home where the abuse happened. You felt hopeless as a child, you feel hopeless now. Only now, as an adult, you can help yourself. I’d suggest seeking a qualified, somatic therapist, who can help you slowly but surely move out of that stuck, traumatized place, into a new reality. A reality with less pain and more options for yourself.

In somatic therapy the therapist works both with your body and your mind to give the old trauma a new ending, to re-write the imprint in your mind that you’re helpless. I’d strongly recommend something like that, if it’s available to you.