Dear Javier,

I am glad you’re looking into somatic therapy – it should be able to help. Wish you too find a good match!

Thank you for your kind words, Javier. I am by nature a very anxious person, have been suffering from separation anxiety all my life (I think it has to do with the fact that I was left at my granny’s when I was about 1.5 years old and stayed there for 9 months, with only a few visits by my parents during that time). I’ve also suffered from low self-esteem and feeling not good enough. By working on myself, alone and in therapy, for many years, I’ve managed to mostly conquer my shame and develop a healthy sense of self-worth.

With fear, it’s trickier, and specially covid was a big trigger for me, because my husband has a chronic lung condition and was in a greater danger… the last year, in fact all the way till the vaccination it was very stressful. Now it’s better in that aspect. But there’s always something to worry about – I easily get into the mindset of worrying. I need to consciously remind myself that things aren’t that bad as I imagine them to be. And I pray to God. But there are still challenges in my life, mostly health challenges, which often want to take away my happiness. I need to focus on the present moment and on the things that are good, not on those that aren’t working.

I am not super happy and full of life, exactly because of those health challenges. But I am pushing ahead, trying to do things I love doing, still managing to enjoy many things in life. There’s no other way, because otherwise I could descend into depression by focusing on what’s not working. The greatest point of strength for me is to know that I am not helpless (I used to feel helpless before starting to work on myself – it was my inner child who felt helpless). There’s always something I can do to help myself, to get unstuck.

I think that’s probably the greatest gains of therapy – to free yourself from the sense of helplessness and pitying yourself. To know that you’re an active subject in your life, not a passive bystander and a victim. You sometimes fall, you feel awful and sad, but then in the next moment, or the next day, you pick yourself up and keep going… you don’t stay on the ground, in the dust…

Anyway, this is what comes to mind so far… does it answer your questions?