Dear Javier,

Do you think my longing and regretting not having kids is due to something else? Is there any other”hidden” deeper reason for this hurting?

it could be that you wanted to have children, so you can give them what you didn’t have as a child. You’ve also dreamed of being a grandfather, maybe because grandfather meant a sense of security for you (an imagined sense of security – since your grandparents weren’t alive any more). Children being watched over by their grandfather – not father – could have been a particularly powerful image for you – an image that emanates happiness and security.  I’ve already mentioned this is one of my earlier posts – don’t know if it resonates with you?