Dear Javier,

We are currently trying cognitive processing therapy, and the main focus on acceptance and “letting” go. At the moment, it’s too daunting for me, as I have to relive all memories and all the pain, fears, and insecurities.

I hope cognitive processing therapy helps you. I’ve looked it up and it’s a form of CBT aimed at trauma survivors, including childhood trauma survivors. So it should be fine, although I am a little cautious because you say there’s a lot of talking and reliving of the painful memories, which makes you feel overwhelmed. I still think you’d benefit from somatic therapy, to give you some basic stability and calm down your nervous system (which is in a state of constant excitation – the fire alarm ON all the time).

For my next session, I have been instructed to write a letter to my “inner child” to address all the pain, incidents, and all neglect. To assess each situation, to express all my feelings, and finally let things go.

That’s a good idea to address your inner child. Do you feel you can get in touch with your inner child?

I’m also writing a “letter” to my mother, apologizing for all the hurt and pain I caused her, and asking for her forgiveness.

As I can’t get any sleep, and to keep my mind busy, I’m writing to my siblings, their kids, my relatives, my friends, my ex, and to my unborn child.

How do you feel after writing those letters? Do you feel some relief, or you feel more guilt? I think it would be important that whatever exercise you do, it doesn’t produce more guilt.