TeaK,

I’m struggling to access my “Inner Child”. There is so much pain and fear(fear to get stuck in my past, fear of finding new incidents). At the moment, I’m confused and disoriented. It feels like one step ahead and two steps behind. I have this choking sensation all the time, it feels like I have anxiety attacks every other minute. My mind is on overdrive, I have had several major breakdowns today, and have been crying continuously.

The more I write, the more depressed I get. I feel guilt, shame, and regret. I’m afraid I can’t rectify anything and afraid of what the future brings. I’m afraid of everything. My nervous system is completely stressed out. My mother has a breakdown this morning, she is heartbroken because of me. I don’t know what to do. My siblings are also here for me, but everyone is concerned. I just wish I can close my eyes and just disappear.