Dear Kibou,

I am happy to read about your progress and lessons learned, and most of all, that you don’t suffer from the wound of abandonment, that you suffered from at the beginning of this thread. One of the topics we were discussing here was your tendency to rationalize pain and negative emotions. That’s why I am glad that you learned to approach your emotions differently:

I learned that all of my feelings were valid and justified.

I learned to name the emotions I am feeling.

I was able to see all of my strengths and other good traits, and not hide what I have to share in fear of hurting someone.

I learned to voice my needs (still practicing a lot). I learned to reach out for help.

I learned to say no. I learned that I was over-giving and hence the love I gave was not always “authentic.” (Sometimes it was more for my needs than others).

This is amazing. It seems to me that you’re healing not only your own trauma but also the trans-generational trauma. For example, you became aware of the pattern that you mother exhibited: over-giving, sometimes giving from the place of scarcity rather than abundance. Thanks to that, there’s less chance that you’ll be continuing this pattern in your own life and transfer it unconsciously onto your own children, should you have them.

I am really happy for you Kibou. I believe you’re a beautiful, gentle soul, with so much love and compassion for others. Now that you understand yourself better and are able to voice your emotions and needs better – I see how you can make so much good in the world, fighting in a balanced manner, from a place of abundance, for causes that are dear to your heart. I see a great potential in you, and a big, open heart, coupled with a big, bright smile 🙂

I truly wish you all the best, Kibou, on your journey ahead <3