Dear Murtaza,

to answer your question, i do think that i might did this whole thing to escape feeling bad,

okay, so you see (or potentially acknowledge) that you’re not created differently, in a way that guarantees misery, but that you’ve come up with a belief system which tells you you’re a victim of bad programming. When it’s much more likely that you are a victim of bad upbringing…

but this whole thing is based on truths, mostly, unless i get sneaky and use my own definitions

It is based on the truth of life as you experienced it. But did you know that the child’s neocortex (the thinking part of the brain) starts developing only at the age of 2, when we start speaking. Before that time, the child cannot think rationally, it can only absorb impulses and sensations from the environment, and can only feel: pleasant vs unpleasant, expanding vs contracting, warm vs cold, anxiety vs calm. Mom’s face smiling vs mom’s face sad/angry. Mom caressing me vs mom hitting me.

For the entire 2 years the child just feels and absorbs like a sponge, and only later it starts giving meaning to the experience. So if a child is born into a violent home, his basic experience of life is that of anguish, anxiety, coldness, harshness, terror. Such child starts thinking that the entire world is a hostile and dangerous place. He/she bases his conclusions on his personal experience, which he sees as the entire truth.

So when you say, it’s the truth – yes, it’s your truth. And it started first in your bones and tissues, not in your mind. It started with negative bodily and emotional experiences, and only after that you made a conclusion, with your rational mind, about yourself and the world.

im not just emotion (your claim that i did this whole thing for the only one goal), there is a mind that think and value things (truth),

Definitely, you’re not just emotions. But I’ve just explained, and it’s backed by neuroscience, how it all starts with emotions and bodily sensations, with the so-called “felt sense”. We build our “truth” i.e. our perception of reality based on those very visceral experiences. Luckily, it’s possible to change those early emotional/bodily imprints, so that they don’t define our adult lives. That’s what healing is all about….

• This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by Tee.