that you’re not created differently

i really don’t care how i was created i only know for a fact that the result of me (this person right here) think and act differently from other people

in a way that guarantees misery

again, acknowledging the result, yes it does guarantees misery

but that you’ve come up with a belief system which tells you you’re a victim of bad programming

you missed the point, part of my programming (that guarantees misery) is to do that, its all part of the programming, im just aware of such programming

 When it’s much more likely that you are a victim of bad upbringing

its the same thing, only programming is a more wide word, my upbringing and genes and environment all make me this person right here, whatever i did or do, whatever i thought about or gonna think, whatever beliefs and values i had and gonna have, all go back (when we ask enough why) to the same rabbit hole, the same uncontrollable things, genes and environment, i simply know the facts, aware of them

It is based on the truth of life as you experienced it

so? that’s enough proof to me, experience is the best observation

For the entire 2 years the child just feels and absorbs like a sponge

so lets say that a sponge was made (bad genes and upbringing),  can’t you even acknowledge such sponge can be miserable? for all his life?

Such child starts thinking that the entire world is a hostile and dangerous place. He/she bases his conclusions on his personal experience, which he sees as the entire truth

you should live in iraq for a change, and say that this conclusions isn’t based on the country and house i live in

So when you say, it’s the truth – yes, it’s your truth

truth is relative, really try living in my mind, without any joy of anything, without a motivation to change, with only few goals (easy way/being not human), then you can advice me and i can take such advice in account, if my little sister advised me about something, i will take her advice seriously, because she have what i have (part of it)

And it started first in your bones and tissues, not in your mind. It started with negative bodily and emotional experiences, and only after that you made a conclusion, with your rational mind, about yourself and the world

doesn’t matter, the truth is, i enjoy very few things, i am not passionate about anything, my goals are fucked, my desire are fucked, my beliefs are fucked, my will to live none existing, and im basically waiting for death, hopefully i will do it, but its hard sadly

 Luckily, it’s possible to change those early emotional/bodily imprints, so that they don’t define our adult lives. That’s what healing is all about

yes its possible, do i want to ? no, why ? read above, i promised myself two things, one is that i do everything by my rules and way, two is that the only trying im gonna do to improve anything would be death, otherwise im staying like this, and im aware of the combination here (learned helplessness/fear) but i don’t care, i might as well just do it, out of mercy, and then a norime come say to me “permanent solution to temporary problem” sure, your problems are temporary, i really don’t care who judge my life, cause they are all wrong, the only one who can judge it is me

i gotta say, you remind me of something i lost, people, norimes.