im glad that you enjoy our conversation

followed by disappointment, of course

i like that line 😀

 if only there is just one woman, just one (in the area where you live), who would be okay with you not working, etc., you just need one for this parallel universe to be your own.

even if there is, its nearly impossible to talk to her, since in iraq there is no social settings, and people never take online thing seriously, even if i somehow talked to her, then what?

and out of nowhere a thought in regard to not having a woman in your life hits your brain, feeling like a slap

let me correct myself, not out of nowhere, often i see something or hear something that reminds me

Annoyance, jealousy, anger- these are energies-in-motion that are attached (at least at times) to thoughts of other men having what you don’t

not only of the thought that a man having what i want, but that i can’t have such thing, and that’s its partly my fault (for not working towards such thing)

 is that sometimes you feel peace or indifference to the the idea of never having a woman in your life, but too often you don’t feel peace or indifference to the idea

the way i see it, is that its just my programming, valuing women too much and have a dreamy thinking on how it could be to be in a relationship,  the thing i try to do, is see the truth, the bad sides of relationships, especially in iraq, if you say relationship in iraq, the very next thing that appears to anyone minds is marriage (responsibility), to me this feels like a cage, i actually have no desire to start a family, just gets my needs met, in my previous post i said i might have a daughter, i only say this thing if this went perfect, which they won’t, i will never bring anyone into this world, unless i know they gonna have a happy life, with this mindset, half…. , no actually most females won’t marry me, since their parents would want babies, with the combination of having no social settings with females, and the things i mentioned above, its actually smarter to just give up and save the unnecessary suffering, i actually have no choice here, i know that this is the truth, and im obligated to lessen my suffering and go for the easy way, i won’t forgive myself…. , no i would HATE myself if i do such thing