Dear Felix,

I am glad you liked the scratching the itch analogy, and that it helped you understand your mind better. Also, that you’ll do some jogging or walking in the near future. Do you have some green areas in the vicinity of your housing complex?

it really has a positive effect on me like from the girl problem i can finally realize that i’ve been so close minded that i only focused on getting her attention without realizing that i’m embarrassing myself, now i’m always looking at something in a bigger picture. .. I finally know that i dont need to get unnecessary attention to be happy.

That’s great, Felix, that you don’t have this craving to impress anyone, including the girl you liked, and that you don’t need other people’s approval to be happy. That’s truly precious!

But to realized all of this, i’ve to suffer pain… does this world really works this way? Like in order to be a better person we’ve to go through pain and struggles? Does there really a person who become a better person without pain and struggles?

Yes, the world and us people really work like that. We only change when we’re forced to. We only learn on our own mistakes (and sometimes not even then!), and not on other people’s mistakes. Some spiritual traditions call it “the school of hard knocks”. And also, we grow and become better people through pain and struggle. That’s the law of life.

Rare are the people who spontaneously realize that they could improve their character. We’re usually faced with relationship problems, or fears and anxiety, or anger management issues, or the inability to advance in our career because of low self-esteem etc etc – and this forces us to change. There’s always some problem, some obstacle we face, and in order to overcome it, we need to change. That’s life, that’s how growth happens.

i’m hoping that i’m taking the right path in being a better and more mature person as i grow older. Also i hope this right path will save my dignity after all that embarrassment on social media (pls say yes )

You’re becoming more and more self-aware, Felix, and it’s a pleasure to see. You’ve understood some of your childhood programming, and why your self-esteem was so low. You’re now slowly but surely developing self-esteem, learning that you’re worthy, that you don’t need other people’s approval to feel good about yourself. You’re also willing to work on yourself, gain a sense of accomplishment, work toward calming your anxious mind etc. You’re on the right path, Felix, and are getting more mature with every passing day.

We can change – that’s the beauty of being human. You’re changing, you’re becoming more and more of your true self. Just keep going, with lots of patience and compassion for yourself, doing little steps that will make you feel good internally, happy and pleased about yourself, and more and more at peace… As I said, I am rooting for you!