Dear anita, thank you for your satisfactory reply

 

There is no Solution to this Problem

That’s what i wanted to hear, why go around this and say love yourself or that healing can fix this problem

 

your thinking is wrong and therefore you need to change it

Before i answer this, i must say that im not trying to manipulate anything, and im gonna try to be as honest as i can, i do think my thinking is wrong, but by wrong i think its wrong by society standards (which can be beneficial to the person) aka “i must work”, its wrong by almost objective life standards, i say almost because objective life standards is a norime standard, the way we programmed to live, and i know that i won’t be satisfied with that life, imagine its like this, you put a monky in lions cage.

 

and loving oneself cannot possibly provide a lifetime substitute for a person’s need to be loved by a separate person.

Why can’t teak just admit that? Why she insists that the problem must come from within me? How about that i live in the wrong place with the wrong values and goals? If you say that i won’t argue, if you say that your goals and beliefs are silly and wrong i won’t argue, but if you claim that i don’t love myself, you either bring a solid evidence or drop your claim, isn’t that fair? Im only asking for the truth, whats the truth? I don’t love myself according to societal love to oneself? According to the man made love? Sure

 

and your opinion about the thinking of the majority of people (aka “normies”) is very, very low.

As it should be, in this post there was only one person that understood me, there was 7 people who replied, none of them acknowledge anything i said, they all just go around the truth (just like teak did when i mentioned the example) ignore my logic, just because it touchs moral issues.

 

You are very, very confident that your thinking is right

Let me correct you, my thinking is right for my life and experience, and i believe there isn’t an objective one (correct me if im wrong in any points i do)

 

you stated that you don’t believe in god

No no, i can’t believe in god, this thing (philosophical suicide) wasn’t meant for me, i simply can’t believe in something without evidence, and yes im not perfect, i sometimes believe in things with very little evidence, but i should say that freewill wasn’t only from observation, there was few people that talked about it, and i was convinced, it actually was the breaking point to leave religion

 

the arguments start: a member (like I did plenty) says gently or harshly: look what you wrote here (quote).. it doesn’t make sense, let me correct your thinking!.. And look what you wrote there (quote), you are wrong, Murtaza, wrong, wrong

This bothers me because they usually don’t provides anything against my main argument, they don’t provide any logic to why im wrong, just “oh no you can’t do that, you must do that” why should i do that? No answer

 

Murtaza then says: no, you are wrong, you don’t know what you are talking about!

I believe that the way i was bulit and the result of me right now is a proof of my difference of people, whether that difference is good or bad, the thing is, people mostly helps by projecting thier beliefs and values “no you can’t kill yourself, thats bad, human life matters” “this is a bad thought” “freewill exist” “love yourself the way i tell you to”, so when i say you don’t know what you are talking about, its because they said something that was meant for people like them, the norimes, a person who has nearly same values and beliefs, that good and bad can be separated, that freewill exist, that god exist, that thinking positive will somehow makes your life better, you must understand that i came across so many people like this before i get “very very confident” and to this day, if anyone said anything about my life, i would feel gulity and re think my decision, a never ending cycle i had to stop

 

And what is the point of these arguments- why does Murtaza waste his time this way.. and why do members waste their time this way…?

Because arguments usually involves understanding the person mindset/points before arguing, its the only way i change my mind about things (and i say this because it happened many times), for an example a friend of mine manged to convince me to get a dog, i was convinced by his argument and i wanted to buy one (sadly they are too expensive in here), since understanding is a big thing i lack,  because my mother never gave it to us, and its nearly my number one need for love, so i peruse it, honestly one of the best times is when i have a good argument, and i did plenty in the past about freewill and religion, watched many also

 

Because Murtaza has a lot of time in his days and nights, and he has nothing better/more interesting to do with all that time

Thats another reason, but im very careful on who im spending my time with, i usually disregard anyone who show any sign of norimeness, not worth honestly

 

conscientious people don’t want to be given that kind of responsibility, thinking something like: oh, oh, if I don’t give Murtaza a good argument and evidence, his blood is on my hands!

Yes, morals stops them, they sacrifice the truth for a society bulit values, but i never saw it like this “responsibility” cause how they gonna make it worse? Im already fixated on death lol, they can try to make me see other point “which they didn’t btw” most of them just disregard my argument as depression or suicidal thoughts, im not even suicidal these days, and the post i did seems like a long time ago, and im better now, but im still holding to my argument because i think its true, but i thought that for once someone would come and say the truth, someone did, but not directly

 

this is a public forum, anyone can read it: no conscientious person wants this kind of responsibility

Reading this im thinking of “norimes”, i actually would do that, and i think that if there is people like me they would do that too, felixable when it comes to morlas and values. Thats another reason to post stuff like this, for like minded people

 

What are you really getting out of posting

Winning arguments that makes me feel good temporary:D, seeing norimes, the idea that i bulit, fit the definition, i just like to expecting something bad and it happens, it just makes me think that im a realist, i dropped the norime thing for teak, and it went nowhere, just like i expected, but i like her, she somehow reminds me of the people that i could connect with without my mindset, too bad

 

One thing i didn’t expect was you getting angry at me, i did expect and still do, that you would stop talking to me, but to think im bad is another, should expect more bad things:D

 

makes time pass more easily, better than doing other things or nothing at all.

Not with norimes, unless im laughing

 

words among the thousands that you will be reading today from people all over the world

Believe it or not, this site is my only way to communicate with people.

 

will make a significant difference to you?

I wonder why there is a need to do that? Why can’t it be just beautiful words, but i remembered that this site, and what you do here mostly, is guide people, make a different in there life, advice them, hear them out, giving them validation.

 

I think that the answer to this question is most likely: Nothing, really.

They do makes me smile when i read them, sometimes shocked by the replay, how beautiful it is, but i guess you don’t believe in the butterfly effect:(

 

You decide, you choose- to reply to me, or not. It is a bit of free choice, or free will, isn’t it: to type or not to type, to argue or not to argue, to answer this one person but not the other.. little choices like these.

Poetic:D, so i would imagine that your reaction the other day “anger” was your choice? You might say, “the reaction to your words wasn’t my choice but how i reacted to it was my choice”, then i would say “that your choice of reacting in someway or another was very much determined about your mood and your day” you could not show your anger on a post, but what would that take? To get back to that exact moment and to have what you had back there, all the atoms and exact mindset, would you do differently? If so why didn’t you? I wonder. I think that this is what im talking about when i say that we don’t have freewill, there is simply so many factors that influence our actions that outside of our control, and there is no one to pull the trigger behind any of those actions, just desires and beliefs competing.

 

feel that you are the Only One in Pain,

No not really, millions of people suffer Endlessly, im not suffering that much, infact i have a somehow decent life, but i don’t like when they start comparing suffering, its silly because not all people alike, some endur more suffering and some don’t, why even try to compare? And i hate when someone says “i was like you”, NO, and you never will, thinking that if he was like me then he must know what it feels like to be me, how it feels like to live like this, and therefore he can advice me, i tell you if i met a person like me, i would never advice him, because i know people like me don’t like advices, and whenever a person start to advice and say that “i was like you” thats a red flag that he is a norime, im not saying that he isn’t suffering, nor that my suffering is greater, i just don’t like it when they start projecting.

 

What are you really getting out of posting

There is this thought “maybe i will get what i want somehow they would just give me what i want” appears always, and i tried so many times to do what it says, unconsciously, hoping that i somehow get the solution, the love, this is what teak talking about when she says “just accept your inner child” she has no clue whats hiddening there, to this day, i still hope that the next teak or antia post give me what i want, before i would go talk to stangers online, somehow, and in someway, remind me of this saying “people look for love in strange places when they didn’t have in thier childhood”