dear Anita  and Teak,

thank you for your POSTs .

“I didn’t count correctly (talking about “timing .. patterns”, from the title of your thread, lol): you are not 10 hours ahead of me, you are 9 hours ahead.”

hahahha yes i too recounted ..it was less than 10 hours hahha.

“It seems like you are still in a long-distance relationship with the same guy you shared about back in April”

No i broke up with my LDR  in mid March during my exams as it was stressing me out and upset …and faced some emotional guilt tripping as he was blaming me for ruining his life …

and than i took some time to process all those things because i was disturbed and  seriously emotionally numb for some weeks ..i wasnt ready to enter into anything new .than in April i decided to talk to this new guy as he was away for vacation  and started seeing him in May as he came back ..

yes it feels right and he is very respectfull and not rushy at all …i dont second guess his words and actions which i used to do in previous relationship and i m not anxious this time ..he rarely say something romantic but when he says, i want to trust him because i feel he really meant that ..

Regarding marriage i m little concerned now ..i think in my life there is always one or another problem regarding relationships haahha..after all those messy relationships i m also tired of dramas and very selective and judmental when it comes to relationship …i felt about this guy that may be he is right one for me ..i shared to my sis about him casually ,but she objected ..according to her this new guy’s grandfathers were outsiders (from other race ) before 200 years or more …even though he speaks our language , same culture ,same city  ,same religion, everything is same ..but when it comes to marriage they are not acceptable are not  really from our caste according to her ..and she passed a racist comment which hurted me …i told her i dont care about class or these sub classes neither should you …but her concern are “what people will say ?” because this society thinks these people are inferior even in 2021 … i dont care about this society because i have seen the double standard  and Fakness of this society already ..she advised me to not talk to him and find someone else because you have still time to find someone better  ..  i was so disappointed ..

and to be honest i have seen these so called superior class of my caste here where i m locating   and these people have no ambition in life and mostly are refugees .they are doing nothing but taking social help every month because most of them dont even want to work because they think so highly of themselves and those so called people wants nothing but sex  or  harrassed or made my life miserable …

this new Guy was a student here ,he came here completed his studies ..doing his job living a decent life ..he is respectful , wants something real  like marriage..helpful and cares for me , responsible we enjoy each others company and much more …

its very strange that these all thing doesnt matter in our country just the caste matter …actually sub caste and caste of grandfathers  also matters …i told my sister on call that “we are racist ” because she was willing to go for my brother proposal outside of our caste ,when i asked her ” why are you going there ? they are not from our caste people  ” so she replied ” but they are beautiful they have colourful eyes etc… ”

its strange …i know as i talk about marriage, there will be a huge drama there in my family everyone will have this objection  … but to be honest my family wont care in long run, they wont  ..only out of 9 sister only 1  (this)sister call me once or twice in a week other calls me or text me after months ..They all are busy in their own life .yes  my brother calls me mostly because i want to talk to my mother but she doesnt call me too  🙁 ..i even question myself , if they really care how am i doing here alone ….but i m sure they all wont be happy with this guy ..

i m anxious about future and should i really be thinking about this caste issue ? i dont think it should matter ..