Dear anita, im impressed by your detailed and great replay, i don’t think i can do justice to it.

You did not argue with me. What a relief

I honestly didn’t know you feel that way about arguing, thank you for telling me.

I think that I am argument-phobic

Its werid because you good at it :D, and i think the reason might be because you lived alone for so long, you thought a lot about things, you learned how to think, the result is that you right now, think twice before you write anything

repeating her message to me that my thinking/ my understanding is wrong (while promoting her unintelligent and/ or insane, and constantly shifting thinking as the correct thinking and understanding)

I think i understand, though i like to leave no doubt, so i will tell you what i understood and you correct me (if the subject is personal and you wanted to only share that, just disregard this section and i will understand to not ask such stuff in the future)

She (your mother) said stuff that isn’t true, though you felt they are, even when you know they aren’t, so you felt that you are the problem, that your understanding/logic is flawed, so you dislike argument because its unconsciously tells you that you are the problem, that your understanding is flawed, is this correct?

I feel like im anita now lol, feels good actually.

unheard. It was as if I screamed but no one heard.. as if my screams, literal or figurative (my intense fear and anger and excruciating frustration, shame and guilt) were silent, no one saw me, no one heard me, no one.. no one there.

I wish that you had someone hearing you, i hope that this changed right now, that you don’t feel unheard like that anymore, would’ve loved to hear you, to do exactly what you do to other members and me, understand you and make you feel heard, and important

And no, there was no internet back then

How did you spend your day if i may ask? (Again disregard anything personal, no need to adress it, i will know that this was personal and i wouldn’t ask in the future).

The Superior category is not homogenous: many within it are considered inferior and/ or feel inferior.

Very true

I said “What it comes to my mind is that, anyone who feel he can help you  that he can advice/ teach you (mostly)feel a bit superior…”

I admit that i was a bit defensive here, i re thinked about what i said, and i think that there is a lot of reasons why people help others, and it oftens doesn’t feel like the other person think he is superior, a good example is teak, i don’t think she thought that she is superior (maybe a little bit), she did made me feel like that at first (she made fun of me not believing in freewill) and i did wanted to make fun of her belief of god, but i didn’t, cause i respect others beliefs no matter how werid they are to me, because to them it make sense, i didn’t like when someone make fun of my belief, so i won’t do that to people (unless it was for a greater purpose)

I think that help mostly involves the things i mentioned above, but its not the other person intention, i think people intention (mostly) are well, but for me, since i have different values and beliefs, thier help usually conflict with those

I think that it was something like this: a bird is caught in seaweed that is wrapped around her wings and body, she can’t move, she can’t fly.

Very good example, i think that for some birds, just forget flying, and forget that they have wings, i think that the first is better, but it will involves much more strength, to be trapped for so long, yet still wanting to fly.