Dear Anita ,

Thank you for your Time  and POST …i hope you are doing well..

i read the most recent post and was also following some of other post from other members ..

i still dint talk to my sister about him..

“Peace, you brought his words to your thread for me and others to read, thank you.” i was very glad to read that u r welcome ..

while we were discussing here about the topic of marriage and how to convince my family  . he asked me about marriage and that he wish to marry me soon even before end of this year if possible .. i told him give me some time to think (as i have already exams next month )..

my heart raced that moment i felt anxious  .after some hours i started to think about the future and marriage and was happy about it ..the next 3 days i was thinking all day different ways to convince my family ..literally all the time even if i woke up middle of night it was on my mind …i felt tired and exhausted and had  headaches…now from last few days i m emotionally numb ..i m not feeling anything and feeling like depressed and such thoughts are coming:

nobody loves me or want me .

i have no friends.

my family doesnt care for me .

my mom doesnt talk to me that i m so alone in this world ..

i have no one .

do i really like him( new Guy)?

do i really want to marry him ?

i started to question my  feelings for him ..yesterday we went out and i was just questioning all the things in my brain because i wasnt present and was feeling empty …and i m so feeling bad that why i m feeling such way when he is a great guy …he is the person with whom i m having a healthy relationship who listens to me ,care for me , doesnt react when something doesnt goes according to plan ,respects me and respects my space and boundary..

yesterday i sat with him and told him that i m getting some depressing thoughts which i mentioned here above   apart from empty feelings for him because i dint want to make him feel sad ….we hugged each other but i wasnt feeling anything .no emotions …i just wanted to come home ASAP ..

Today is Eid ( a religious festival )..we meet and talk to family members  ,friends and everyone as i am far from all all i dont have any energy to talk to anyone …nor do i want to go and meet my family after exams even though the tickets are already booked .

i am flat,empty ,numb all inside ..i feel like i m going toward depression .or may be something triggered me …

i wasnt sure who could understand me and help me in this phase ..i hope i get some understanding and Help here ..

Thank you …

• This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by Peace.