Dear Natie,

you’re very welcome, I am glad that you can now see your dynamic with him a bit more clearly. What are you planning to do regarding your relationship?

as for being the eldest , yes 100% thats correct and not only my sibilings but the entire family’s problems somtimes..

It seems you took it upon yourself to be the serious and responsible one in the whole family… If you would like to say some more about your childhood and the family dynamics, you’re very welcome.

i am starting to learn how to let go slowly , there is alot of bad habits i need to change about me ..

Since you easily slip into harshly accusing yourself (“I am the devil in the relationship”), my advice would be to start with a lot of self-compassion and self-acceptance. Also, try having compassion for your inner child – for the girl you once were, burdened with responsibilities beyond her age, trying to be a perfect daughter and a perfect sibling (if I am guessing right?)… If you feel like sharing some more, please do.