Dear Peace,

No.they wont be able to stop me financially as i work part time and manage my expenses myself . so i dont need to ask them

That’s great! You’re in a good position, you cannot be blackmailed. You can basically live and arrange your life as you wish, independent of their requirements.

the worst that can happen is that they can get angry ,upset and very disappointed ..As they would think i ruined the family name etc because they scared “what will people say”?

So you might be seen as a rebel, “ungrateful” daughter (at least in the beginning, till they get used to it)? How much does it disturb you? Perhaps it would help you to be aware that there is a part of you that wants to be a “good daughter”, who makes her family happy (a part that wants to be loved and accepted by your family). And there is another part, who wants to live her life freely and be happy with the person she loves.

If you want to please your family, you need to sacrifice yourself and choose an unhappy life. If you want to choose your own happiness, you need to accept that you will cause some (although lesser) unhappiness to your family. So basically it’s your own deep, personal, day-in day-out lived happiness (as anita said) vs your family’s superficial and fleeting feeling of satisfaction because you did what they deem right. If you choose what your family wants, your life will be drastically worse. If you choose what you want, the life of your family won’t be drastically worse, in fact it won’t be worse at all. They might complain, but in all honesty, their life will be the same.

Perhaps this helps you decide…