Thank you, Sarah and TeaK,

Word can’t express my gratitude! This forum is the only thing I have. My mother couldn’t see my pain, she wanted to help me, to heal me, but my brothers didn’t want her to endure any more unnecessary pain. As I thought I couldn’t hurt my mother more, I managed to take away her peace and simultaneously scarred her for life. Your prayers have saved me, but unfortunately, my stupid decision has consequences. Due to the OD, my liver is damaged and is not functioning well. In addition, I got severe sepsis. Just like my brain, my whole body is now poisoned.

I just want you to keep praying for me and please keep helping people that need you and that can be saved and healed.

As I have hit the lowest possible point in life, and every breath is painful, I’m just waiting for my body to give up on me. I have no plans for any second attempts, as it was too dreadful and the toxicity withdrawals from the opioids numbed my central nervous systems temporarily. The doctors said I was very lucky, since the number of opioids I took, was four times the dosage it takes to permanently put me in a vegetative state. My biggest fear is to be stuck in a vegetative state.

Now, I’m off all SSRI medications, and melatonin(for sleep) and B12, hence, time stands still. My body aches and I have a burning sensation in my head constantly, giving me continuously brain fog.

The worst thing is that I have scarred and hurt my dearest and nearest. My nieces, that I love like my own daughters, and my mother and brothers are terrified and very concerned for my well being. I don’t want to hurt them anymore. Please pray for them!