Dear Javier,

I’m trying to count my blessings, but I have been suppressing and denying all positive feelings. I have learned to feel loneliness, hopelessness and shame. The feeling of failure is there continuously, and I have been struggling with a low to complete lack of self esteem. I want to change this, I want to live again. Please let me know if it’s possible!

You first need to forgive yourself, Javier. Your self-condemnation is keeping you at the bottom of this dark pit. It’s what led you to attempt suicide.

We’ve talked about it before. Your life started with pain, you grew up with pain, and none of it was your fault. All the “mistakes” you’ve made later (and which we all make in this or that form) are the result of that original pain. When you blame yourself, you’re blaming that little boy for simply being a child, for having normal needs for love, affection and safety, like every other child. You’re blaming a beautiful, innocent, helpless little child, who just wanted to love and be loved. Can you see that, Javier?

I am praying that you see and accept that, and start practicing self-compassion and self-forgiveness. Because that’s The Way to new life…

• This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by Tee.