Hi Damien,

if you choose to go, inform her about it on time. Tell her that you’ve been thinking of coming around Aug15 and ask her if that date suits her. Don’t go if she says “no, now is not a good time”. It’s important that she knows well in advance that you’re coming, and also that you don’t force anything that she isn’t comfortable with, including the date of your arrival.

Also, I think you should clarify the intention of your arrival. You may be honest and say that you’re hoping to talk to her and show her how much you’ve changed, but also that you’ll respect her decision if she doesn’t want to be with you any more. As anita suggested, don’t stay at her place, but book an accommodation, so that she doesn’t feel under pressure.

I know you want to show her how much you’ve changed, but it’s equally important to show her that you respect her boundaries and her wishes.