I honestly didn’t understand your point, i feel your answer gonna be “because you don’t want to”

You say your are certain of very little while  your responses indicate come across as being very certain

Because i don’t look for validation from people (maybe i did sometimes, but not anymore at least) im very sure of what im doing is the only right way for me, and i will dismiss any advice, because no one knows my life the same way i do, and i didn’t come here to be “helped” my posts is as pointless as my existence.

I have my doubts, i have lots and lots of weakness, but i learned not to show them, they would only reflect thier values and beliefs, no one would actually tell you the truth, that its maybe better to do it, i don’t need people to say it, in my above post, my only goal was connection, im so desperate for it, i don’t know how to get it, the only way i come across the feeling of being connected is when i argue with people about my life, i wish there was another way, i probably shouldn’t make any posts, waste people time, but i don’t care anymore about other people.

a contradiction that not so unique.

In this regard i very much look like any other iraqi, very troubled, very passmstic, i don’t claim to be unique in this side, my claims were always beliefs and values, i don’t believe in anything, i don’t value anything (just few things), this what makes me different, i don’t subscribe to any label or any human made philosophy, i don’t care to read any mans thought about anything, because i don’t believe there is any geniuses, or great men, just normal men, who was programed to do what theg did, if they didn’t do it, another will, everyone is replaceable, everyone doesn’t matter.

No one thinks or feels as you thing and feel – which is true of everyone

You seem to forget that thinking and feeling differently can interfere with how you live life, how you react to it, everyone live the same, they might think a bit differently, but not so much that it interfere with thier reality.

how it is you view you?

Two, one was programed to be someone, one that developed some logic and thinking on what to do, both were made by environment and genes.

no one can know what another thinks or feels.

I disagree, people do know, when you lose someone, or something, you feel sad, people understand this, come to make you feel better, i don’t feel sad easily, i only feel sad about the things i wanna feel sad about, when i lost my father, i wasn’t sad, i don’t respect him, and i don’t value him, i don’t respect my mother, i don’t value her, although she got no control on what she is and what she do, give me a person, one person that think or feel the same thing, everyone is so brainwashed about worshipping thier parents, not because any logic, but because society tells you to do so.

I don’t value anyone or anything just because they happened to be my parents, no fuck that, everyone is the same to me.

In general the advice most of those have given is for you to try to step outside this literal objective linear world view and ‘play’ with the abstract.

Doesn’t matter how i think or feel, how i approach life, i will never get real love or real connection, just because im too aware of the fake ones.

If your life philosophy seems to be making you a victim and miserable… doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result…

So im not a victim? I live in iraq, a third world country, the people in it still believe in ghost and a man made 1400 year old religion, men see me as less, my whole life they always made me feel this way, women don’t even wanna engage with me, not because what i say or do, because of who i am, i can’t get a real connection even if i dream to, i can’t get real love, i hate wasting my time for moeny, i hate being prisoned in a work that mostly physical and hurt your body, for only minimum wage, just to live, im an introvert, in a country where men suppose to be very extrovert, and if you aren’t, they will shame you for it, all jobs requires you to have connection, all jobs requires you to have people that you know, to be extrovert, to be fake, basic needs is highly expensive, and i don’t dare to ask for them, i don’t dare to say i deserve them, i got a mother who knows nothing about life, a father who lived in his room the whole time i was alive, a brother that used to bully me, my childhood friend almost molested me, a teenage years where i did some horrible things, things i don’t even like to think about, i spent my whole childhood and teenage with shame, i don’t even wanna say for what, because its too unpleasant and no one wants to hear it, i failed at school and i blamed myself so hard, no one cared, my mother blamed me, shamed me, a god that tells you to be greatful for your awful parents, to be greatful for being alive, thankful, i had so much shame when i sinned, so much that i hated myself so much, i sadly got alive after three years of intese shame out of something very silly, after that life didn’t mean anything, i might as well did it then, lived the rest of my life, full of weakness, shamed by this weakness, alone my whole life, and i did something for myself, developed my own philosophy, developed my own way of living, everyone tells me its wrong, everyone tells me its bad, and i should do this and that, fuck them all, i live my way, or not live at all, i don’t care what you or teak or anyone think, you think im victim, sure, go ahead, it doesn’t change anything.