Dear Felix,

So i wont be judged as a person who has a “weird” personality right, only because of that pic?

no, you won’t. If you would post such pix regularly, or all the time, people might think it’s weird. But one such pic is harmless and as I said, it’s fun.

I’ve been continuing to do my physical exercise every evening, although sometimes i feel lazy to do it, but i still force myself to do it…. I only feel motivated on the first few days and the rest are me forcing my laziness to do workout, but i never missed a single day since i start doing exercise.

Good! Most of the people feel resistance before workout, myself included, so you’re no exception. But the question is whether the resistance will win, or the desire to make some progress will win. You can introduce some versatility into the exercises, so that you don’t feel bored. And you can gradually increase the weight, or increase the number of repetitions (of any exercise, not just weightlifting) – this will give you a sense of accomplishment. This also answers your follow-up question:

I realized that i’m a person who needs to feel accomplishment everyday to convince myself that i’m capable…. But how can i do that, it’s not like there’s something to achieve everyday right?

Yes, there is. Doing workout everyday and slightly increasing the performance can give you a sense of accomplishment.

As for the “taking masters issue”, luckily i’m able to calm my mind after overthinking on how much i messed up, i hope i wont get triggered again until the situation on my city is better.

Glad to hear that. Yeah, right now your options are limited in terms of study abroad, but as we’ve discussed before, you can still take a language course or anything that will give you a sense of accomplishment and making progress. So, workout plus learning Chinese could be the two things that you do daily, that will give you a sense of accomplishment.

I’m like a lost kid in the middle of a large crowd, where everybody walks because they know their destination and i’m just standing there watching them move…. Why do other people are able to know what they want but i can’t?

Some of them just follow their parents’ or society’s expectations, without questioning it. They might do it ambitiously, specially when they are young, because they want to meet those expectations. Others might be following their own dreams, maybe because they know themselves better, and also because they had more supportive parents, who saw them as capable and encouraged them to achieve things. We’ve talked about this before, I’ve explained why you might be lacking ambition and why you are afraid of failure.

In order to grow from a kid to an adult, you’d need gradually become more and more independent of your parents. One way (1) is to build a sense of accomplishment – which you’ve started already, and you can improve it further by e.g. taking some online courses that you like. The other way (2) to become more independent is move out from your parents’ house and live alone. The third (3) is to find a part-time job when the covid situation improves. The fourth (4) is to study abroad, etc. We’ve talked about all this before.

For now, you can’t do 2, 3, or 4, due to covid, but you can do 1. So keep doing and expanding 1, i.e. things you can do from your home.

As for starting flirting with this new girl, I don’t think it’s a good idea, since you only know her online, and only because she sold you some stuff. She told you she is very busy with her studies and her own business, and she replied late to your messages. You can potentially try once more, to start casually chatting with her and asking some personal questions, and see if she gladly replies or she is reluctant. But the best would be to wait till covid restrictions are over, so you can meet in person too.