Dear Felix,

I still wished i knew it before i was 22….but everyone has their own pace right?

Absolutely. When I was 22, I too felt like a child and wasn’t sure about what I want to do with my life. I also followed what everybody else around me was doing, because I didn’t know what it is that I want to do. It took me many years to sort of find myself and my preferences, and not live according to what is expected of me.

There are many people who aren’t sure of what they are good at, who have been living someone else’s life… you’re not the only one. I think everybody who has some childhood trauma and grew up with lots of insecurities is like that. And many who seem determined right now might get disillusioned and crash later. For some it might happen decades later, in their midlife crisis, when they start questioning their lives, looking for meaning etc.

You’re by far not an exception, and in fact, it’s great that you’re going through this self-discovery phase pretty early on in life, at 22. You’re very much on time, Felix, so trust me when I say that you haven’t missed anything and you aren’t late for anything. In fact, you’re doing it earlier than many of your colleagues will.

Thank you TeaK! I’m able to control my emotions better and also starting to know what should be my goal right now…. It’s all thanks to your advice….

You’re welcome, Felix, glad I could help.

I just hope that my plan to go to china for language learning will really happen…. If suddenly the plan didnt work out i’ll be so disappointed, and my anxiety will go wild again…. as it’s still controllable now.

I too hope it will materialize. Please know that this trip to China represents more than just language learning. It represents also you becoming more independent from your parents, learning to live on your own, find your own way…  So if this concrete plan for traveling to China wouldn’t materialize due to some objective reasons, please don’t give up on your plan to become more independent. Don’t allow your parents to convince you to stay in the status-quo, living with them, protected from all challenges, but also protected from growth.

Stand up for yourself, give yourself a chance. If not in China via language learning, then in some other way. I know that right now it’s difficult because of covid, but it will get better, so don’t give up on your plan and your desire.