Anita,

Spoke to an intake worker and then a court Advocate. Here’s the thing.  My ex said a lot of hateful things via text message to me over time. But I reacted to the messages. I said bad things to him.  I don’t have a full list of texting going back and forth but I bet he will have them. For this order of protection to happen I have to document everything in a report and we would go before a judge and  have a hearing. I would have to testify.  there is no telling what my ex will say.  I’m worried he could make me look just like him.  I’ll look like a fool to the judge.  It will be an emotional gamble I don’t want to go through.

If I don’t go that route I would hire an attorney and they would set up a guideline report with everything so it’s just about schedules/kids etc.  There will have boundaries and it will be filed with our divorce paperwork.

I’m very tired and I want to go to bed.  The intake worker gave me home but not the court appointed advocate.  This is not going well. I just want him to be accountable for his actions.  I feel like participating in the ugliness with him makes me look just as ugly. It’s been impossible to not react and ignore his words.  My reactions and ignoring him care inconsistent.  30% better than last year at this time maybe.

Lindsey