Dear OrangeHeart,

Now struggling with thoughts that my boyfriend might be controlling.. I think its coming from a place of insecurity but its really wearing me down and whenever i try to speak to him about anything he just shuts off and stops talking…

It’s possible that he is controlling, and it could be his way of reducing stress of everyday life, which he finds overwhelming. This is what you said about him earlier:

My boyfriend also struggles with his mental health and the smallest thing can totally ruin his day, if not his week. i feel like i really go out my way for things to run smoothly for him. Ill do things he wants just so he doesn’t get upset even if its not what I want, just because its easier. When he is upset, im upset… So its easier to keep him happy so I can feel happy. Even if its not what I want to be doing! If he comes there will definitely also be some sort of issue.

He seems like a rather labile person, who easily gets upset and loses balance. He doesn’t have emotional resilience. As such, he needs to control his environment and the people around him, so to reduce stress and unpredictability to a minimum. Would you say this is true about him?