Dear Tineoidea,

It’s always been there and like I said before, I bond for life so I’m always the last one to leave a sinking ship. I try to make things work even at my own expense once I’ve bonded with somebody and I tend to put up with a lot, perhaps too much at times.

Yes, it appears you stayed in the relationship with your friend at your own expense, and now even at the expense of your relationship with your girlfriend. I am trying to understand what caused this sort of loyalty, which is self-destructive – you’d rather sacrifice yourself and your well-being than the relationship. What do you fear would happen if you’d put yourself first and protect your interests and your well-being, rather than the relationship?