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Reply To: Help me make sense of this.

HomeForumsRelationshipsHelp me make sense of this.Reply To: Help me make sense of this.

#386293
Tee
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Dear Tineoidea,

the following is what I wrote before seeing your latest post, about her flaunting her wealth:

 

She did let me down multiple times and even didn’t do things she said she wants to and will.

It could be that she even sabotaged herself in some things. There are people who promise a lot and never deliver. And they promise too much because they want to be liked by others. When they don’t keep their word, people get disappointed in them. That’s self-sabotage because they get the opposite effect of what they originally wanted: to be liked.

I don’t know if that’s the case with her, and what her motives were, but she might be someone who wants to be liked by everyone? In the beginning she might have been making all those promises, perhaps even to be liked by your family, and then she didn’t deliver on them – either because she self-sabotaged, or because she already started having doubts about you and started to withdraw.

Things such as expecting me to both work on multiple things at once while giving her my full attention and most of my day as she was well aware that I was barely getting a few hours of sleep a day for months and months.

That’s quite insensitive and selfish of her. How did you react to those requests?

Or blaming me for not solving the conflict between her and my “friend” in a proper way and for putting her through it even though she herself constantly tried to interact with him while he wanted nothing to do with her, I told her to stop and she herself said it’s hurting her and she should stop.

Perhaps her need to be liked by everyone is what actually motivated her to reach out to him – because she wanted him to like her?

And now addition after having read your latest post: she might have a subtle belief that people only like her for her wealth, but still she uses it to attract them and make herself more appealing. But also there is a deep conflict in her that they don’t like her for her “true self”, and so after a while she gets disappointed in the relationship and starts withdrawing her love, i.e. her money. It can all be her projection – not reality – that you don’t love her truly but are only after her money. If someone is super uncertain of themselves, they can invent an alternate reality.