Dear Tineoidea,

I do have my flaws but I don’t see how anything could possibly validate such cruel and harmful behavior towards me.

Her own emotional wounds led her to behave like that. Maybe it’s true for him as well. This doesn’t justify their behavior but you can see them as “troubled” and sort of forgive them, but at the same time protect yourself. Cut contact. Set boundaries. Don’t let yourself be abused. Not even for lofty things like loyalty. You don’t need to hate them, and yet, you can choose not to be in a relationship with either of them, because they don’t seem to be capable of a healthy relationship.

I’ll need to ponder on this for sure.

It’s most probably related to your childhood. Was there anyone in your childhood who reminds you of either of them? You don’t need to answer this, but this is where I’d be looking for answers…