Thank you Sarah for the positive affirmations. I really hope I can be cured, even 10% will be enough for me to at least live.

I’m completely lost and don’t have any purpose or direction. Every morning is a battle for finding the “WHY” and the reason for keep battling. I’m desperately searching for a meaningful purpose, the energy to resolve internal and external conflicts, courage for planning for the future. When all hope is lost, I desperately come to the forum for advice and positive affirmations. It has kept me alive so far.

Thank you TeaK,

You are correct, I can’t expect my therapist to heal me. And I know it’s not a quick fix or any magic formula or pill for healing the pain. I have learned some somatic psychotherapy techniques such as using descriptive language and titration/pendulation. If I’m in the zone and my mind/mood is right, I get some relaxation.

I’m really unrested because I’m overthinking about my past and all my wrong decisions. I’m tormented and devastated every time I get reminded of my past. The thing that upsets me most is as time passes, I’m struggling to accept the distance between the good memories. I’m always going to be afraid of time passing. Age and numbers(years or exact dates from the past with reference to some incidents) freak me out. I don’t know why, but every time I hear a song or watch a movie/Tv-Series from the 80s, 90s and 00s I just end up crying uncontrollably.

I’m currently reading(slow-reading) How To Do The Work by Dr. Nicole LePera. Chapter 6 – Power of Belief, hit me really hard. I wish I would have known these things in my early 20s.