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Javier
You can still help your wounded inner child now. Nothing will get you over the injustice of what happened. But you can forgive.
I have trauma too and read The Gift of Forgiveness and it reached my traumatized and neglected heart to forgive. It was very powerful for me.
I go through analysis paralysis sometimes in the morning when I think about my to do list. I get overwhelmed. Right now what’s motivating me to start is helping you. So you are helping someone right now.
You need emotional support. I still think a support group would be very helpful.
Why don’t you try giving someone else advice on this forum? Just one person. That will help you feel like you’re helping someone.
Giving doesn’t trigger me like it does you. We have two different reactions to it. I don’t understand yours but I know service to others is a great purpose so long as you take care of yourself.
Youre in great mental anguish. What do you do to process these feelings? How do you react to them?
I want you to start seeing the good of yourself. The author of Life Without Limits another book I recommend is about a man born without limbs. He too felt like a burden and suffered depression and even suicidal thoughts. Then he met someone like him. He thought he could help him. It turned his perspective around. He’s now an inspirational speaker and leader.
If you were to meet someone like you, what would you say?