Anita,

I need to add some things that I did not mention before.  I just read my message to you yesterday and your response again.

I am going to work this weekend on getting notes together for mediation discussion which is next Friday.  The kids and I may go to the zoo tomorrow or Sunday.  It’s cold here, 30’s up to 50’s but will be warmer this weekend.  I’m glad we can do things and there are no sports practice or games.  Going to the zoo is one of my favorite things to do.

Ok. So. The last two times I met Jason I took the least amount of benzo as possible. The size was like a large crumb.  I took it because I was nervous..  Anita I felt like what it would be like to not have an anxiety disorder. It was awesome really.  But guess what- for 2 days I felt like I had a hangover.  I had increased anxiety-it was pretty bad.  It was like this is the cost for me to be normal.  And I can’t really do it anymore. Who wants a hangover?  I started thinking and I had just filled a new perscription a few months ago because the old one had been expired.  Which means I had been using the old expired bottle  as needed for probably a year.  Which would explain the hangover.  The meds in the old bottle were not very strong.

Also-my friend does tell me to stay away from men in general.  He says that I need someone who is not good looking and not good with the ladies because they will be the nice guys.  He basically said there is no one out there for me.

Lindsey