Dear Peace,

your eldest sister is really on the offensive, isn’t she? She even engaged a fortune teller to confirm her stance and convince you not to marry your husband. Funny, because if this fortune teller were any good, he would have “seen” that you are already married, wouldn’t he? Or he doesn’t even exist, and it’s just another desperate attempt of your sister to prevent your marriage… whatever it is, don’t trust of word of it – it’s a scam!

even if I pay her debt but still i will be a villain in her eyes because I dint care for my family and dint feed their racist opinions which they are proud of for years and they have their pride in it that they are not of mixed race and its an insult to them

You’re seeing it right! Your sister won’t change her mind about your husband… she is convinced in the “righteousness” of her racist beliefs. She also fears public disgrace if it turns out that such an outspoken “pure caste” proponent allowed her younger sister to marry into a lower caste. She is unfortunately driven by these narrow-minded chauvinist beliefs, so much so that she is willing to invent some fake prophecy, just to stop you…

and she suggested me to first complete your study and get a job than talk to my elder sis about marriage …

It seems your other sister (and you too) believe that you need your eldest sister’s permission to get married. Is that right?

i got a bit convinced,I thought it seems fair I will complete my study and than i won’t accept any emotionally blackmailing from them..

Your eldest sister will never agree to this marriage. Seeing that she uses every means to stop you, and that she has no empathy and understanding for you, but only cares about herself and “what will the people say” – I don’t think it’s realistic to expect that she would soften over time. I think she would keep emotionally blackmailing you and trying all sorts of things to stop you, even after you graduate.

but my husband said ,this is not the case ,they will always make this a problem and these are only excuses because they don’t like him …

Unfortunately, this seems to be true…

She can only emotionally blackmail you if you have a weak spot and believe her accusations (that you are a bad person, that you’ve achieved nothing, that you are selfish, immature, a child etc). Also, she can blackmail you if you believe that you need her permission and blessing to get married.

But if you realize that you are an adult, that you know what’s best for you – and that you are a good person too – it will be easier for you to withstand the emotional blackmailing and accusations.

Also, if you stop hoping for your sister’s approval, you will be much freer to live your life as you please, and as you know is right for you.

What do you think?