Hi anita

Putting feelings aside, I can’t kick my father out of his house. I discussed with my mom and sister about us leaving this house. But, he won’t be able to live on his own. My mom doesn’t want to leave because it is their house and she doesn’t want to lose this asset. We discussed divorce but both people have to agree for it to go through here. My father will not do that. And my mother won’t do it because divorce is a taboo, so she probably thinks no one will want to marry us. She and I can’t bring ourselves to leave him like that knowing he can’t survive. At the same time there are parts of him where he is just selfish, so it is hard to accept him. So if I put my feelings aside, the best I can do is leave the house myself as I can’t change anyone else. I am considering interviewing for jobs in other cities. At the same time, I feel a certain way about leaving my mother behind – I can’t find the right word in English, I don’t know if this is guilt, it feels different , forgive me, I’ll describe the feeling – I feel like if I left her I would be doing something wrong, like, it is wrong to think like that. It bothers me to imagine what it would look like for me once I leave, like I am turning my back on her. She won’t have anyone to take care of her. However, if I was to get married that would be the case anyways. My parents need support unfortunately. If I turn my back on them, they won’t survive. If I were to put my feelings aside, I would look for a job in a different city, which I will anyways, for the money atleast. But I am afraid I won’t be able to live peacefully leaving my mother behind.

Girija