Anita,

It makes sense. I feel and have always felt responsible for my mother’s happiness. I feel responsible for her being alone, sad and unhappy. I always feel that everybody deserve the best and to be happy, especially the person you love most. That’s why I get sad and depressed when I think about her and her life. I know I’m not responsible for her happiness and her life. But, when I see her and think about her life, I just see a vulnerable kid that has been through so much hurt and pain. I wish I could take away the pain and sorrow, I just don’t want her to live her whole life sad, depressed, hurt and unloved. It’s the only reason I’m still alive because I know by me “ending it all” will be the ultimate betrayal and will crush her to thousand pieces. It’s a terrible place to be when you have given up on life but still have to live for others.