Hi anita
I went to a gynaecologist for my thinning hair. She had me take an ultrasound and turns out it was PCOS. She gave me Birth Control pills and another supplement that apparently increases insulin sensitivity. I read several doctors’ opinions on this and I have decided to hold off on the birth control for now and will tackle the actual problem itself with the supplement and work on my lifestyle.
The reason I am telling you this is because I am going to sound different from my post a couple of days back.
Firstly, thank you for going so far as suggesting a witty profile. It sounds great. I am happy to know you think I can find love and a long term relationship. Your advice on getting to know the person well before marrying is something I had decided a long time ago. I always thought even when I’m down and out, I push through life and that I don’t want a person who’ll be a burden to me. Recently though, I was wanting a relationship so bad that I was weighing if I should be more traditional about that and that was why I was writing paragraphs on love. I find it silly now.
Every person deserves joy and love. But I thought about this and wonder – do we feel love or do we feel its absence. I think we feel the absence. I was feeling a void and decided it was love. It was a lot of things but I think what was actually missing was the physical sensation in my chest. I want to call it joy, but essentially the opposite of anxious or feeling empty. I have taken a couple of doses of the medicine for PCOS and I feel the ‘joy’ in my chest. For all I know, it was this illness that was making me feel so out of it. I was ill and needed treatment. Of course, all my issues are still there but I feel more grounded. Like I can be in this moment and decide how I want to live it. I feel like I have control over myself. This gave me a new perspective on my last comment about my looks.
I am who I am, and people can take me for what they want. If they like and love me, that’s great. If not, I feel enough, and they can go love someone else. I don’t need it anymore, for the time being atleast. I can decide what this moment is for me, and I can decide to be joyful. If I take actions that match my intention and are in my interest, I will create joy for myself. I want to focus on myself from within. I want to create my experience out of me ( I wish I could express this better but I am not able to, with English atleast). I want to define my world and live in it – love myself and love living, and take life as it comes.
The profile when I do create it, I will make it funny. I will let myself show through. Not what I think other people want to see. For now, I will focus on myself. Love can wait.
Girija
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 